Likes and Dislikes

Likes

• My beautiful baby girl
• Fall weather
• Being in love
• My large family
• The strength and independence that women are developing nowadays
  
• Spirituality instead of religion
• Falling asleep in front of the TV

Dislikes

• Trashy behavior
• Struggling to lose pregnancy weight
• Naïveté
• Bare feet on a cold kitchen floor
• Colic
• Chit'lins
• Ignorant people who don't attempt to better themselves
  

Our Brand New Arrival

Early Monday morning, I was feeling incredibly dizzy and getting progressively sicker and sicker. I finally got up and went to the ER. They took my blood pressure and it was dangerously high, besides the fact that our little girl was not moving. We freaked out. I was admitted to the hospital that night and I didn't sleep a wink. We had a visit from my OB around noon and he told me that they would be taking Isabel by emergency cesarean at 5 PM. I was speechless/horrified/petrified. We called the family members that could be there and decided to notify the rest when I was able to handle it.

After I freaked out and slept for a while, it was time. They wheeled me back and administered the epidural. Anyone who knows me knows I don't react well to any kind of anesthesia. They had to completely knock me out because I could feel every slice into me otherwise. It was horrible.

So after all of this, we have our beautiful baby girl. Isabel was born on Monday at 6:28 PM at 2 lbs. 10 ounces with no health problems. She will be in NICU for a long time to gain weight and get completely stable. We are praying for her to come home soon.

10 Things to 10 People

This week has been one of the most trying of my entire life. We are scraping and keeping it together, but it's difficult! Anyway, I got this writing prompt idea from MamaKat and it may help me to get some of this frustration out.

The point of this is to get some things off my chest that I really don't feel like stirring up mess by actually saying anything. Don't assume that this is about you or you know who it is about, simply because you'll probably be wrong. :)

1.) What happened? It seems as if the people that have made a promise to me since birth/early childhood have abandoned me. If you were going to do that, you should have done it earlier on. It's causing me more problems now because I don't know how to cope with it as an adult.

2.) I love you, but you have been getting on my nerves lately. I am grown, have my own life, my own household, and a child on the way. Are you seriously still trying to scold me? Nothing I do is affecting you in any way, shape, or form so please just back off a bit.

3.) Why are you even still in my life? You serve no purpose other than being a weight around my neck. Go away.

4.) Thank you! You are amazing and have done everything right and I appreciate you.

5.) What is your malfunction? The passive-aggressive crap has got to go. We are relatives, but I'm sick of your bull. If you aren't going to come to family events or act like any of us know each other, keep my parents' names, siblings' names, and my name out of your mouth!

6.) You were a fantastic friend at one point. You are now a self-centered prick. Go away until you get some sense and realize who has been there for you through all your difficulties.

7.) I love you and will always be there for you, but GET OUT OF YOUR TOXIC SITUATION! That relationship is not good for you or your son. Please stop blocking us out and take us up on our offer to help you.

8.) How difficult is it for you to put on a condom? A bunch of kids by a bunch of different women and you're not even 25 yet? Funny how not a single one of these women has a lick of sense. Birds that flock together, I guess...

9.) Back up. You don't know me and have no idea who I am. My advice to you is to just back up and shut your mouth before something bad happens to you.

10.) Why is my life so interesting to you? Yours isn't interesting at all to me. You hadn't even crossed my mind in months until someone said you were asking a bunch of questions about me and mine. Go be a self-obsessed douche somewhere else.

Are You F-ing Serious?!?

Disclaimer: I know I've been on a rant since I've been back, but I need to vent. Please forgive me. :)

There have been several times that I have ridden past the Planned Parenthood office since I've been home visiting Kalamazoo. Every time I've ridden past, the anti-choice protesters were out (I call them anti-choice because calling them pro-life seems to validate their way of thought). The other day I actually witnessed them accosting a young woman who was walking into the office. How can you physically accost and harass a young woman who is having to make an extremely difficult and personal decision and call yourself a man or woman of God? How is that divine or holy?

It is unbelievable that these women have to walk a gauntlet of about 60 people just to get into the office. The whole walk to the door, people are stepping out of line to get in front of the woman and attempt to physically bar her entry. They are shouting Bible verses, calling her a murderer/slut/whore, and other equally distressing things. They then show the women extremely distressing photos of fetuses as well as lie about how an abortion is conducted. One man said something along the lines of the doctors yank the baby out and cut the back of its neck open and basically behead the child. How is this Christ-like?!? How is it like Christ or even close to any of His teachings that you are to harass, accost, horrify, and cause pain to another human being? A few of the protesters even compared the Plan B pill to partial birth abortion. Seriously? READ A FREAKING BOOK! Those things are completely different.

I get so angry about this because the anti-choice protesters seem to not get that a child is a person and requires care for the rest of their lives. They seem to stop caring about what happens to the child once it is born. They don't care that the child cannot be well taken care of, is abused/mistreated, is molested, or even murdered later in life. According to them, it's in God's hands from there. You can't really be serious.

I don't think it's anyone else's business why a young lady or a couple decide to terminate a pregnancy. How do they know that the woman hasn't been raped or a victim of incest? How would they feel about having to raise the product of an assault? If the couple cannot financially take care of a child, will the protesters pay for all the expenses and actual care of the child? Yes, I know adoption is an option, but delivery of a child alone is upwards of 30 grand, not to mention actual prenatal care. Do you have that just lying around your house? I know I don't.

It just makes me so angry that these people call themselves ministers of God and take advantage of and assault women who are going through an painfully difficult decision. It is none of their business that a woman decided to terminate a pregnancy. They need to really just shut up and stop trying to regulate someone else's body based on THEIR religious beliefs. Newsflash guys: NOT EVERYONE IS A CHRISTIAN! Free speech is one thing, assault is another.

My point is: If you want to minister to these women, then go ahead and do so but not there. When you are physically and emotionally assaulting them, that is something completely different. You are the people giving Christianity a bad name.

EverySaturdayMorning-this blog is run by a person who is a Planned Parenthood escort. It is unfortunate that patients need to be protected from these protesters. It is sad that escorts are even necessary. Within that link, you will see the gauntlet I described as well as videos that show these protesters verbally and physically attacking these women and the escorts. It's disgusting!

F&*%ing Ridiculous!

So, I'm not sure if it's just my hormones, but people are getting on my damn NERVES this week. No one does what they are asked to when I ask them and then when they want someone to do something, here they come to me. Well bump that. Unless you are Honey, family, or a select few of my friends...DON'T ASK ME FOR S%#T. So for this week (which is sad since it's only freakin' Tuesday), these are the things that have irritated the hell out of me:

1. Passive aggressive notes-No..not the website. Ones that are either attached to my window or my car. WTF? How difficult would it be to knock on the door or come get me since I was sitting outside about 6 feet from the damn car.

2. Ungrateful people-If you aren't going to appreciate what I did, then don't ask me for a damn thing ever again. I work hard and I deserve some peace of mind and a break. Don't come to me when I am having said break and ask me to do shit for you.

3. People that don't know what the hell the word BEDREST means-I was put on complete bedrest by the best OB in the region. Are you seriously asking me to put my child's life in jeopardy to do some household crap for you? B*TCH, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? Your ass will NEVER be as important as this baby so f*ck off.

4. Belly-touchers- I don't know you, get the hell out of my personal space. I'm showing, but not THAT much that I've lost the feeling in my stomach area. Also, she's not even big enough for you to feel on the outside! I'm not a touchy-feely person, ask my significant other or my family members. If I don't know your ass, DON'T TOUCH ME!

5. People that tell me to smile or ask why I'm not talking about the baby 24/7- Seriously? Are you seriously telling me how to feel about my pregnancy? You are on some serious drugs if you honestly think that I give a flying F$%K whether you want to see my happy face. Go fall down some stairs and break a limb...I'll probably smile then.

6. People that try to talk politics just because I have an Obama magnet on my car- Don't come up to me in a parking lot and expect me to debate politics with your dumb ass. I'm more likely to cut you because I think you're going to try to assault me. I'm sorry but, he's our president...he won...GET OVER IT ALREADY! Don't come up to me trying to bad-mouth him when I'm clearly a supporter.

And I Stand Here Amazed...

I know it's been a while, but I've been working on some things and got side tracked. I have still been working on my Master's degree and that's been going very well. Josh and I have a new addition on the way and we are ECSTATIC! After the loss last year, I was ready to go for it again. I am currently 21 weeks along and feeling amazing. We moved up and got a larger home which is a 4 bedroom and quite nice.

I am in such a state of elation about this baby...there isn't a way to compare it to anything else I've ever experienced. It's a beautiful thing to realize that you created another human being out of pure love and that this human being will have thoughts, tenacity, and personality all their own. The excitement is quite overwhelming.

Our families are incredibly excited, although obviously concerned. They are all praying for the best for our little family. It's incredible that one's life can change so much in a few short months.

Dear Life

There have been so many changes to my life in the past 2 weeks...it's simply unbelievable. I stayed true to my word and began 2009 with a BANG! I'm off to a great start :)

I have moved out of Michigan, I'm now in Indiana.

Renting a 2 bedroom home.

Classes are going incredibly well.

I'm in an amazing and healthy relationship.

Started my dredlocs

Started my own YouTube channel (vids are to the right)

I've been cooking SO much. It's been crazy.

This is the first time in my life that I've actually enjoyed every single day. My pets are great, that's my puppy, Vashti at the top. She's adjusted very well. I'm just enjoying the whole picking up and moving to a whole new state. It's an amazing feeling of freedom that's hard to explain...knowing that I'm completely independent. Life is GREAT.

Fired Up Friday!

LET'S GO STEELERS!!!!

and not just because I want to make little brown babies with Troy Polamalu :D